Heartiste posted a short and sweet piece “Stop Looking At Girls From Across The Room“. It gives good advice on getting rid of the needy behavior of frequently checking out attractive women in a room. This could be a coffee shop, classroom, waiting area, etc. Many guys have the secret hope that if only they catch a woman’s gaze it’ll somehow captivate and attract her. The reality is that if you don’t approach her and open your mouth, nothing will happen.
Since I’ve gotten into day game here in Warsaw, I’ve been working on overcoming a similar habit, that is looking back at cute women who walk past me on the street. The beautiful thing about day game is that it gives you a way to meet the beautiful women you’ve always seen walking around, but never knew how to approach. In day game you have to make a quick decision when you pass a girl if you want to turn around and open her. Since you’re going in opposite directions you have to decide within a few seconds. Turning around and looking at the girl, but not pursuing her is a copout. You might rationalize it by thinking she isn’t that cute, or you have other things to do or the logistics aren’t right. Taking a second look isn’t going to give you much more information if seeing her from the front didn’t affect you enough to make a move. If I decide not to approach then I force myself to keep moving forward without looking back. If my first look at her didn’t create a magnetic attraction that told me I have to approach, theres no sense in dwelling on it.
When you first start out in day game, the experience of approaching women in the street will be so new to you that you’ll inevitably approach women who turn out to be less attractive then you first thought. As time goes on you’ll begin to get a sense of what types of women you’re most attracted to and should approach. Part of learning the process of day game is realizing that you don’t have to approach all the women you’re attracted to. Once you’ve met a number of women, gotten numbers, dates, etc. you’ll begin to put women in their proper place and see them as one aspect of your life, but not your greatest goal and aspiration.
If you’ve never tried day game and just the thought makes you anxious, it’s worth at least developing the habit of not looking back at pretty girls that pass you by. Tell yourself that the only time you’ll turn around is if you’re going to approach. For this reason it’s also better to immediately turn around once she passes by you and begin moving to get in front of her. Stopping and pondering the best place to approach her, relative to other people, buildings, crosswalks, etc. is just an opportunity to psyche yourself out. My most successful approaches have been the ones where I pass a girl, my mind registers that I want to meet her, I pivot around and pursue. From the moment the lightbulb goes off in your head that says a girl is worth approaching, to when you’re stopping her and delivering an opener, should last less than 10 seconds.
