In my last post I wrote about the benefits of independent living. Though things are much better for me now, there are tradeoffs and new challenges to face when you reconfigure your lifestyle towards freedom.
Diet
Last time I mentioned that a poor diet was a phase I went through when I first moved abroad. Since eating out is relatively cheap, I took the easy road and ate kebabs, burgers, pizza, Polish takeout and Vietnamese takeout regularly. Naturally, this fried and greasy food wasn’t healthy. On the plus side, I would usually only eat out once per day later after breakfast at home. A contributing factor to this was that I hadn’t cooked very much in my life. The most complex item which I could make was scrambled eggs, which I continue to do (albeit adding spinach, bell peppers, salmon, etc.), but even cooking some chicken or meat wasn’t a regular habit. Cooking at home is what I do regularly now. It allows me to eat healthier, plan my meals ahead of time and imrpove my cooking skills by experimenting. I had actually never made hard-boiled eggs on my own until after listening to Victor and Mike’s podcast a few days ago.
Your living environment, including your access to a decent kitchen, refrigerator, cooking utensils and a good grocery store within a reasonable distance, will all contribute to whether you cook at home and eat healthy or not. You may just have to go through a phase of eating poorly to realize it’s a mistake, but you’ll be better off starting healthy (ideally continuing good food habits from before) while occassionally enjoying some fast food or restaurants.
Budgeting
When I left California I knew that I didn’t want to work a 8-5 job anymore, but I also knew working online wouldn’t be easy so I departed for Poland with over two years of living expense money saved up. Since then I’ve been earning a small income from investments, but not nearly enough to cover my expenses. As I continue to work on this blog and another, I know I will start to earn more. Until then I have to be economical about my spending, which means using Personal Capital (Mint.com is another alternative, but it didn’t work well with my credit union) to track my expenses, buying things like electronics or other more expensive items in the U.S. during periodic visits, instead of paying a 30% markup here and not frivoulously spending money on non-necessities. This last point hasn’t really been a problem since I thoroughly considered what I wanted to bring and waited for return trips to stock up through Amazon.com.
The most that I spent in Poland in one day other than rent, was about $250 on several pairs of jeans, a trenchcoat and Timberland boots, as an update to my wardrobe. I doubt I would have saved much on the same things stateside.
As Victor Pride says, “It takes as long as it takes”, whether it be creating the body you want or making money off of an online business. Don’t be complacent about starting early. Unexpected expenses like a medical bill or emergency trip home can eat into your savings quickly.
Climate
Poland’s climate, compared to California, sucks. This is particularly painful to write given that my hometown’s motto is “Climate Best by Government Test“. Though the winter was mild this year, temperatures with windchill still reached down to the high teens Fahrenheit (-10 Celsius). Even with spring-like weather in Warsaw and temps in the 50s or 60s, a cold wind balances out the pleasant sunshine. When the weather finally starts getting consistently nice in May and June, I have no complaints, though late July and August also bring a 100F+ heat wave with high, sticky humidity. The nice weather tapers off by late October (or earlier) and cool, grey weather settles in until winter brings lower temperatures and snowfall (though it was inconsistent and light this year.)
If you plan to move to Brazil or Thailand your results will be different of course. Don’t underestimate the effect that climate has on your mood, productivity and well-being. I prefer a cooler climate because I simply hate to work when its hot. Its much easier to warm up inside an apartment, than to try to cool down. Any plan to move somewhere long-term should factor in the range of weather conditions throughout the year.
Women
Living abroad has afforded me the time to practice my game, especially daygame, and helped me meet a multitude of pretty and feminine women. What I’ve come to learn though is that becoming much better with women isn’t a panacea for loneliness or feelings of emptiness that we all have at times. Furthermore, if you aren’t up-front about your expectations, you may end up causing more emotional pain than whatever pleasure you go out of the interaction. In Rollo Tomassi’s famous words, “a woman should only ever be a complement to a man’s life, never the focus of it”, a phrase I’ve read and re-read many a time, but one that has taken several years to internalize.
Meeting a lot of women is fun, but it’s also time consuming. In whats been a new experience for me reaching a place of abundance with women, I’ve found that finding a girlfriend is easy. The question is whether a given girl will be a supportive complement to your life, or a drain on your emotions and productivity. For men who never went through this period, especially in their teens and 20s (my dating life was a desert from 21-29) it’s an important way to learn about what you can realistically expect from the opposite sex. I don’t identify as a PUA though, and as time goes on i’m becoming much more skeptical of guys who pursue women as their business and convince others of the false belief that happiness lies in continuously bedding new women. Learn game, absolutely, but don’t dedicate many years to it at the expense of creating a lifestyle of health, wealth and freedom.
Work Discipline
This doesn’t have to be tied to living abroad and working independently, since most people have trouble with discipline when they don’t work in a structured environment, but travel can make it worse. A misconception that has been addressed by guys like Maverick Traveler, is that independent entrepreneurs live a very mobile, jet-setting lifestyle, while also being productive. This is not the case. To get productive work done, even if it’s web-based, you need an environment thats conducive to it. No way is someone going to get more done balancing their laptop on their knees in an airport or crowded coffee shop with weak internet access, than in their comfortable, quiet apartment at a desk or table with lightning-fast internet.
People’s specific preferences will vary, but a certain degree of stability and continuity are required, at least until you’ve developed such a strong business that you can afford to take your foot off the accelerator, hire others to do work for you and live off of your earnings from products you’ve already created and sold on a large scale.
Although I’ve been blogging for over 4 years, I’ve only started to take it seriously as a business in the last month, and there is still a tremendous amount of work to do. If you plan to live off of some form of online content creation it should be a part of your daily routine to write posts (not necessarily publishing them every day), network on social media and work on a product.
Loneliness, Language and Cultural Friction
We all get lonely sometimes, even when we have friends and family nearby. Long-term, international travel will accentuate that loneliness. I’m a very independent guy, and have no trouble being alone, spending all day by myself sometimes, but I still need human contact. Having relatives in Poland has made my transition easier, as have my volunteer activities, my PhD studies and daygame (not just to find dates but as a social outlet).
My Polish was rough but decent several years ago, while I wouldn’t consider myself a “native speaker” like someone who was born here, I feel like I’m 95% there, especially after having spent a year and a half living here since mid 2012. While you can get by with only English in Poland and other European countries, you’ll improve your enjoyment of life exponentially if you can communicate in and understand the language of the country you live in. It doesn’t have to be perfect, it never will be since there is always more to learn, but it means more independence and closer connections with people.
Despite my knowledge of Polish, I still get frusrated by the culture sometimes, because I was born and raised in the U.S. Although its not ubiquitous, many Poles have a pessimistic and complaining attitude that’s tied to the difficult history of the country. Quality of life has improved a lot, yet many people still retain this bad habit. I try to infuse optimism and positivity into all of my relationships, but I’m under no illusions that generations of cultural programming go away anytime soon.
Since Poland was a communist country for 45 years and still retains a bureaucratic system and mentality, getting things done isn’t as easy as in America. This mentality has also made people passive and docile when it comes to waiting in long lines or being subject to burdensome regulations. The idea of independent living is to avoid these types of entanglements as much as possible, but its inevitable that they will impact you in some way, if only through contact with people whose lives are fully enmeshed in this system.
In communist Poland, coupons were used to obtain everything from meat and bread to toilet paper and soap (none of which was guaranteed to be available). At least I see a few daygame approach opportunities in line…
Challenge Yourself
Though these “challenges” may appear as negatives, they can in fact be the motivation you need to push yourself to another level. We can get far too complacent if we keep with the same routine for an extended period. Throwing yourself into a new environment will certainly subject you to pressures and problems that can bring you down if you let them, but if you push yourself to adapt, regroup and overcome them, you’ll emerge a new man.
What challenges have you faced while living or traveling in foreign countries? Have I left anything out? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
